The Urgency of Getting It Right

My brother was diagnosed with Parkinson's, and it made me realize the extreme urgency of taking life off the back burner or being left with endless regret.


A few years ago, my brother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It breaks my heart to see how bad it's gotten. While having such a disease is certainly not his fault, there were so many things he could have done differently that would now make things much easier for him. He could have eaten healthier. He could have exercised, at least a little bit. He could have not smoked three packs of cigarettes a day! Habits he talked about wanting to do something about, but didn't that now impact his well-being in a major way.


Life On The Backburner

My brother is fourteen years older than me, and so I always looked up to him. I remember him so full of life in his younger days! He loved children, and he couldn’t wait to be a father. He always said that he wanted at least a dozen kids! But then he married a woman whom he loved but who didn't want kids, so in the end, my brother never had any children. Brock loved to travel. Most of all, he dreamed of seeing New Zealand one day. But his second wife suffered from anxiety and didn’t travel well, so except for one trip to Thailand, my brother never went anywhere at all. We all put things off, but watching a loved one suffer the long-term consequences of such seemingly harmless inaction is scary.

How many times in life have you put things off, thinking you would do them later? You read my articles every week, and maybe you think, “I really ought to get her book. What if my soulmate is really out there?” But then you don't It's just not a good time. You’re so busy right now. You’ll do it later… How many New Year's resolutions have gone by the wayside in this manner? How many diets were abandoned? How many passions have you put on hold because it just wasn't the right time? What have you set on the back burner, thinking there'll be plenty of time later? Looking at my brother, it's clear that later doesn’t always come.


It's Not Your Fault!

I’m not beating up on you. Rather, I want to tell you that it is not your fault at all when you're putting off making those changes. Making changes doesn't work that way. There is actually a mechanism inside of you that is actively working to keep you from making any kind of modifications, physical or emotional. That's why it's so hard to do!

Everything about your body and mind operates according to a set blueprint, and it will do anything in its considerable power to maintain you within these boundaries. Your doctor takes your vitals, blood pressure, body temperature, and current weight because a deviation in these statistics is a good indicator that something has gone wrong. A healthy body will not deviate from its blueprint in the slightest. Your body doesn’t judge but maintains you within the prescribed framework. And if you suddenly decide that you want to alter any of these predetermined boundaries, your body also doesn’t care if it’s for a good reason. Whether it’s quitting smoking, exercising more, or losing body fat, if you want to change your relationship or even how you handle your finances, your body considers any attempt at an alteration of the blueprint injurious. In other words, it considers it an emergency that will trigger a negative reaction in an effort to return you to your status quo.

That’s why it is next to impossible to make any kind of permanent changes. Your body is actively working against you when you’re trying to start these new habits. And this is not just true for your body but also for your state of mind. Your thoughts have shaped your brain into the physical synaptic structures that make up your beliefs and concepts, which shape how you experience the world. Outside a lobotomy, you cannot change the existing structures. Changing existing beliefs is next to impossible because your mind doesn’t want to be changed.  Wishing won’t make it so. Good intentions won’t make it so. The “right time” will never come.

We're Changemakers

Changing your belief structures is no more possible than changing your blood pressure, but we’re also not very good at accepting things as they are. That’s because humans are here to drive things forward, to change things! The only way for us to experience a sense of fulfillment and true happiness in life is via the contribution of our unique gifts and talents. It is our dharma, our edict - whatever this may mean for each individual. Oscar Wilde said, “Be you! Everyone else is already taken!”

There comes a time when you realize that only so many years are left. Something will need to happen, and soon! Quite literally, it's do or die! Do you make that bucket list and start living actively - or do you wait for some disease to catch up with you and wait out the end? Putting it off is equal to waiting it out. Maybe it even seems easier and less hassle, but after watching my mother and now my brother, I can tell you that the wait is a very, very long one!

Restore Balance

There could be another reason that could make it hard to move forward. Hormones start to decrease pretty early on for human beings. It starts so gradually that you may not realize that you’re slowing down at first  Suddenly, you notice that you’re a little bit more achy and a lot more tired. Increasingly,  you lose your sex drive and then your drive to start new things. Eventually, it feels like someone pulled the rug out from under you. You think you’ve become old, but it’s really just your hormones. From my own experience, I highly recommend bio-identical hormones, which will restore your physical, emotional, and mental balance. If you find that you are not who you used to be and it bothers you, check out I have no tie-in with them, I just know what it has done for my own life.

The Only One Way to Go

So, how do you go about making changes when your mind and body don’t want to let you? The most powerful and effective way is using visualization. Visualizing the future you desire creates a roadmap to reach that future. Instead of thinking about going on a diet and never eating anything good again (which doesn’t work!), you simply imagine your healthy, vital body looking exactly the way you like. It’s fun, and your mind and body won’t fight you, but the clear goals you're seeing will carve out a new sense of direction. Instead of getting all dolled up to go on a date you dread with some weirdo you don’t care about, simply visualize the blissful relationship you’re really after. In other words, cut out the middleman and visualize your desired end result. It works for literally anything. Visualization is powerful. There is a reason professional athletes have been using it for years: it gets results. It creates the desired new synaptic structures in the brain that will eventually allow you to experience the future you desire. While you’re doing it, you will discover valuable things about yourself that will help you overcome the obstacles that have kept you blocked. Visualization slowly creates new possibilities that will morph into new parameters for your new, purposeful, and authentic life.

Go to to embark on your journey of self-discovery to create the life and love you really want.

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