There is road construction by my house, but miles before you get to the actual site,
In my work, I talk about being, doing, and having the life you want. No matter what it is - you can have what you want with one simple caveat: you have to know what you want. Here's a way to get there...
I get a little bummed when I see how many people don’t really believe that they can have what they want. And that when it comes right down to it, they don’t really believe that humans have any control over what happens to us in life and that when fate serves up a curveball, the best we can do is control our reaction to it.
Now, some of these are pretty successful people who have a good vision for their future. They set goals for themselves and fully expect to achieve whatever they set out to do in their daily lives. Except when it comes to the big stuff. With things like their health or their money, and certainly, when it comes to finding love, deep down, they believe these things are out of their hands, ultimately decided only by luck or fate.
Of course, this belief has far-reaching consequences because it takes away the power to have what they want. It is a neuro-scientific fact that we can only experience life within the framework of our beliefs. If you don’t believe it, you can’t have it. Your own mind won’t let you. So, no matter what you believe, you’re always right.
I think that the reason so many people never take the time to define what they truly need and want in life is that they think it’s sort of pointless. Deep down, they believe they won’t get what they asked for, anyway. At least not when it comes to the big stuff. There is even a little fear that they might get the exact opposite just because they asked.
Hence, people often have this tendency to leave the circumstances of their lives to pure chance, propelled entirely by default. They wonder why things feel so uncertain when they themselves make them that way. However, the essential fact remains that when you are very clear about what you want, the universe usually finds a way to bring it to you very quickly. (The only way it doesn’t is if you have an opposing belief standing in your way.)
The Kern River, where I live, is one of America’s premier rafting rivers. It has rapids up to Category 5, which can be deadly. But in some places, the river meanders along very peacefully. On a hot summer’s day, you can jump in, let the cool water refresh, and allow yourself to be carried along by a gentle current. But just like in life, rapids can appear suddenly and without warning. In those times, it’s important to keep your head above water because if you allow fear to pull you under, you’re in big trouble.
When you’re getting bashed around by life’s currents, worried about finances, feeling depressed and abandoned, or, God forbid, if you receive a scary diagnosis, we humans have a tendency to go to the worst-case scenario. In reality, there are infinite possible outcomes. Quantum physics has proven that until the final result has been determined, literally anything and everything is possible – the very, very best and the very, very worst. But since we’re under the influence of the survival instinct, which always scans for potential danger, we go to the worst.
Somehow, we think that if we look at the worst possible outcome, we can desensitize ourselves. Instead, in this way, for us, the worst has already happened. Now, we react on that level, and we only see solutions at that level. All the other possibilities and their resolutions no longer even exist for us. Unfortunately, this is precisely the reason why we so often hear of bad news. You are far more powerful than you know. Where your focus goes, energy flows (which is why goal-setting really works!), but by focusing on the worst-case scenario, you’re physically propelling yourself to the wrong side of the rapids - not just in your mind but in the very real world!
When you find yourself in worst-case thinking, you must find a way to keep your head above the maelstrom. Thankfully, here is a strategy that can help you find a peaceful eddy in the stream. You can simply remind yourself that thoughts are just thoughts. Emotions and just emotions. You are neither. You are the intelligence in the back of them. In the same way, you’re not your car; you’re the one driving. It’s a small but important distinction because by realizing that you’re the one who is in control, you become freed up to navigate – and navigate you must, or you’ll crash!
Your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions come and go unbidden. Life experiences, memories, and circumstances appear suddenly, like rapids in a river, and they can be gone just as quickly! Isn’t it true that there have been circumstances and experiences in your life that once felt as if they would swallow you whole, but now they are mere memories? They came and went like clouds passing by. Only you remained. Amid all the changes, your sense of self has never changed. It has been the one constant. Isn’t it true that from when you were a small child to now, the way you feel about yourself, your sense of _I am,_ has remained exactly the same?
The moment you realize that you are not your experiences but the one having the experience, you become separate from the maelstrom, and you gain control. To attain that state of separation, meditation can be helpful because meditation is the act of consciousness in contemplation of itself. You become aware of yourself as separate from the phenomena of experiences, thoughts, and emotions. You step back from the fun and madness of the human experience into total presence with yourself.
When you are present, you are free to choose what you want - but only if you know what that is. That’s still key. Give yourself the time of day and go HERE to become clear on what you want from life. That way, when the next rapid hits, you’ll know how to stay safe.