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Tracy Kaufmann wrote, “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship.” What’s more, it sets the tone for your satisfaction and fulfillment in every other area of life.
You Are Always Creating
It's true that you have the power to be, do, and have anything you want, but you don't just begin creating your life experience after you start thinking in a focused manner. You've been creating your own experiences all along. You created your current love life, existing body, present career, and finances based on your awareness and understanding. And now you wish you would have done better, and you can’t quite forgive yourself for not being further along, so the beatings continue until morale improves.
Incomparable & Priceless
Self-esteem is at the root of how much love, beauty, health, and money you will allow yourself to have. Most people struggle to give themselves a positive self-assessment because they're always comparing themselves to others. There is no winning such a contest because you’ll always measure your weakest points against another person's strengths. It’s never fair.
I love people-watching. It's so much fun to see all the short ones, tall ones, fat ones, and skinny ones. Some dress as if they don't own a mirror, and others look really spiffy. But the one thing that always strikes me is that no one, not a single one, looks like anybody else. Eight billion different noses and eyes and ears - I find that remarkable. Even if they wear the exact same outfit, they look nothing alike. Everybody is unique and not just on the outside. They’ve led different lives, come to different conclusions, and arrived at different opinions and beliefs. None of them sees the world in the exact same way as anyone else. We are each completely unique expressions of consciousness.
Normally, when something is so unique and rare as to be the only one in the world, it is assigned massive value. An Astin Martin DBR1 sold for twenty-two million dollars – and there are five of them! Van Gogh’s Starry, Starry Night, sold for 50 million dollars. While unique, it is just a painting. It just hangs there. It doesn’t do anything. Considering that you are conscious and creative, shouldn’t you be worth a whole lot more?
Instead, we think we’re being “realistic” when we focus on our worst angles. I recently talked to a woman who was very distressed about her body because she had seen a really bad photo of herself. She had worn something admittedly frumpy to a backyard barbecue, and someone had taken a picture of her from a really bad angle. She saw the photo and cried. The image burned itself into her mind, and now she thinks she always looks that bad. And that’s so unfair! Even the most perfect supermodel can take an awful shot. When I was modeling eons ago, they still used film. And they used to say that it was a good photoshoot if you got one usable shot for every two rolls of film, so one good shot out of about 50 photographs! And that was with a professional makeup artist and a stylist doing nothing but constantly adjusting everything to perfection. Still, one out of 50! The model could have gone home crying that she took 49 really bad pictures that day, but why would she when the fiftieth ends up on the cover of a magazine?
Of course, you have a right to your opinion on what looks best according to your taste, but I can guarantee that not everyone will agree. You can't always please all the people, and the world would be boring if you could. We are a beautifully diverse mix of a little bit of everything. Who is to say which flower is the most beautiful? Which color is the best? Each is perfect for something and someone. You are perfect for someone who is waiting to worship the ground you walk on. My beloved adores me and thinks I'm beautiful even when I'm having a fat day or my hair looks weird. She sees none of that because, to her, I’m her perfect love. We are all perfect when we’re seen from the right angle.
Don't focus on your worst angles, and let them be the estimate of your entire worthiness. Instead, look for your perfect angle because you really do have one! Why would you base your estimation of your worth on someone else's opinion? Why do their words carry more weight than yours? Accept yourself as you are because there is literally no one who is even remotely like you. You are without any equal, so who's to say who is “better” than someone else? Don't compare yourself to anyone because it's like comparing apples to oranges.
You're the only one, so by definition, that makes you perfect. Never say that you're imperfect because it's simply not true. Instead, realize that you are a perfect expression of consciousness that is inimitable, precious, and has a reason for being here. How can you look at a perfect sunset and not realize that you come from the same source? The universe brings forth only perfection, but having eyes to see it is a choice. Recognize your intrinsic perfection. Of course, you are allowed to have your opinion about who or what is your favorite; that is also part of the infinite diversity. But you must see the intrinsic perfection that lies at the core of it all.
The Hand You’re Dealt
See yourself as the perfection that you are, even if you feel that you are not at your best at the moment - because that changes nothing about the fundamental fact. I recently read about another teenage girl who committed suicide because she “didn’t fit in.” Such a horrible tragedy based on a ridiculous premise - none of us “fit in”! We are all matchless and irreplaceable puzzle pieces; it takes everyone to make the complete picture. You are absolutely incomparable, so whom would you compare yourself to? Maybe there is something you don't like something about yourself, but you know what? Get over it because those were the cards you were dealt!
Why would you weaken your position and insult your own flawlessness just because you would have preferred a different nose? Or perhaps you would have liked different abilities or anything else different about yourself? And would it really make a difference? Your nose and your abilities are yours. Nobody has anything like it, and therefore they are perfect exactly how they are.
You must accept that because it is the fundamental starting point for how much love and beauty, and money you will allow yourself to have. So, if you think you’re being realistic when you say, “Well, I'm not perfect; maybe I'm a seven on a scale of 10 - that's still pretty good, right?" - that's the limit you set for yourself in everything. You can jealously look at all the eights, the nines, and the 10s and see how they seemingly have it all, but please realize that you and only you assessed yourself as a seven. In reality, you are a 10. You are perfect, not compared to somebody else but compared to you.
Changing the Premise
Begin here: “I'm perfect the way I am. Yes, I could lose a few pounds, and I will, but that changes nothing about who I am!” In this way, you put yourself in a position to actually be able to lose the extra pounds because you do not make them part of your intrinsic blueprint. If, instead, you call yourself a fat slob, you make the excess pounds part of who you are, and they can never go away. If you call yourself ugly and unworthy, you cut yourself short and will never attain all you are meant to have. And you probably won't meet your perfect lover either because you would not allow them in.
The whole world and all your desires open up to you when you change your basic premise about who you are. You are meant to have it all, and you can, but only if you accept that you are perfect and quite beyond compare.